Wednesday, March 3, 2010
As a Singaporean, I have a crazy love for Japanese Animation, which young people know as anime.Currently, I've seen over 50 animes/manga and its reaching 70. Tsubasa, Holicxxx, Murder Princess, Zatch Bell, Kaichou wa Maido sama, Vampire Knight, Detective Conan, D.Gray-Man, Katekyoshi Hitman Reborn!, Monochrome Factor... Well, I will never finish if i go on this way, but the main idea is that I've watched/read alot since...since the past(i don't know when! >.<), hence i might be the only girl in my class who've watched so many Japan Animation, not the only one, for there's one guy in my class who also absorbed far more animation than me. Far awesome, but i don't talk to him about such topics before, because i like to enwrap myself in my own pleasures, not talk about them with boys, who i distinctly don't mix around or socialise with much(a bit discrimination?) because around my age, boys this age is immature creatures, hence i only discussed these topics among my girl-friends. I love Japanese things. I'm like the Japanese freak here. I like Japanese language, because the kanji with all the hiragana and romanji looks very very cool. And their language is also easy to express feelings too, unlike english. And then. i like Japanese sushi rice, because... because they're nice(I don't know how to describe it, its too wonderful). And then, and then, haha i just had alot! The only thing i don't like about Japan is the political matters and security matters over there. I mean, for every country i know, political matters must be the most boring one of all. I don't really prefer to hear about Liberal Democratic Party or something like that, you know...
Jade Ng Jing Li
4:39 PM
My blogskin...?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I get people who asked me about my blogskins time to time, but its just that i could not find a favourable blogskin to me yet, and then, i could not do one up for myself, hence, its stuck in this blogskin, because i am hesitating. I mean, yeah, blogskins in blogskins.com looks nice, but i don't really prefer to have all of my blog in one side of the internet window, you know, and most of the blogs' skins have their blog area situated on one side. If not, the blog area will be so small, i strain to see the words.
Jade Ng Jing Li
5:52 PM
When I've seen enough
Monday, March 1, 2010
The sceneries never changing. Tiring. Boring. The usual monotonous steps to take. Stifling. The heavy load to take. Weary. The numerous, masses of equations and information to remember. Straining. The repeating, never-changing cycle of life in school. Stressing. Way tiring. The prospect of the future. Unpredictable. Scary.
When life is like that, do people wonder how we survive?
Jade Ng Jing Li
5:11 PM
I'm scared
Thursday, February 25, 2010
I am scared of a lot of things. People said i looked like i wasn't scared of anything. I am scared of things that is within the human level of understanding, but of course when i said scared, i do not mean of the mundane fear of lizards, cockroaches, flies, so on. I mean the mentality and spiritual fear. I am scared of my Dad's safety, when he is out driving his car to work in the morning and God knows whether he's safe. I am scared of my future. The blurry and uncertain road i see infront of me always changes whenever someone drops in more ideas of education advancement. I am scared of death. The feeling of pain and endless sleep is somehow incomprehensive to my brain. I fear sudden deaths too. It could be very sudden. I am scared of life. Living is horrible and painful. I struggle with myself and God, I have to live on with people i dislike in a forced environment. I have to struggle staying alive through the endless torture studies gave me. I am scared of people. I fear the ever-changing emotions humans have as humans. I fear their way og judging people, i fear their discrimination against my behaviour. I fear their mocking faces too. I am scared of losing myself. In this society, where standard of living in Singapore is high, i am scared of losing my host personality, when i get blinded by the worldly things that i admit, i still hold on to fondly. I am scared of being scared. The fear makes me feel small and weak, all the more afraid of stepping out of my conscious. Being scared, touchy, uncertain, makes me feel afraid of almost my surroundings. I am a scaredy-cat in some sense. All my confusion, fears and uncertainties i try to hide behind a mask of nonchalance and 'serenity'. But is it really fine like this? When all the people around me are panicking, moaning after each failure, i chose to remain silent even after mine. Is it okay for me to be like this?
Jade Ng Jing Li
3:45 PM
Update- School Holidays
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Jade Ng Jing Li
11:27 AM
Hey, I'm back...
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
I've not been blogging for a long while. But for some time i would come back and type a little. I really missed my blog!!! But i feel grateful towards my family, friends and God who always made my day. Thank you all very much for such support and love given to me lately. And in addition, i want to thank any viewers that had the chance to visit my blog and read it. Sorry for the long and boring texts, but thanks for enduring! I hope you could give me some tips and comments but thank you again for your patronage...:)
Monday, April 13, 2009
Life sometimes is just a passage of time to me somehow... And then it can sometimes looked so depressing too. But i am not satisfied. Never. But since i met Jesus, things took a quite noticeable turn. I realized while i played Lunia and other self-satisfying games or i watched videos and laughed my heart out, i still get empty emotionally, though i literally enjoyed everything online. I am confused at first. Isn't this what i would love? I mean, playing and watching, to my own content... But i started to feel happy and knowed of something when i am in worship of God. I also found something then. That i can't find happiness in anything of worldly value. Internet, malls, relationships, shows... No, i was never fully SATISFIED. But i have enjoyed the sin of enjoying world values. And the Word has told me never to conform to the world. I would not say that "then i stayed hopeless and knew that i am condemned" or such words like that. For i know that He is always there when i need Him and forgives me when i am in sorrow of my sin. I hope anyone who reads this could know that i did not purposely wrote this to condemn anyone of such actions. But mainly purely for Christian read...
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I hate days like this. When i have to perform in Chinese Orchestra halfway through my amaths for the lower secondary people. I have to learn more about identities in maths. Cos there's another kind of equation in amaths that i think i'll have problem with was not done explanation. I had to leave after 15 mins of amaths.
Jade Ng Jing Li
4:42 PM
Today
Monday, March 30, 2009
I cursed silently as i walked, or should i say drag myself to school this morning. The teachers in JVS must have no eyes or ears to see or hear, for I am dragging a supposedly exceeded 3kg bag to the tremendously far (to me now) building. Luckily by the end of the ordeal i survived to the door(blessfully, it was open...) or else my collarbones will bend under pressure... =.=lll but i have to say thks a lot to those people who opened the door before my arrival (i know i sound like i'm travelling...), its hard work trying to wake up in the morning. Another thing when you have to lug one huge load of mass to the distance-challenged school. I think i did not eat breakfast or what, cos i started to become dizzy at the start of the day. Its not a good sign, for i have a bio practical later, and i don't hope to have diastase all over my lab table. And the expression on Ms Ooi's face later is NOT going to be funny unlike what others with Samuel's personality thinks. Its not helping when i keep stealing glances at him either. My heart aches the whole time. Bio practical. Whoa awesome, "yippee". I did not mess up, even with the dizziness and cloudy lens of the stupid googles i HAVE to put on. I spilled a bit of boiled diastase halfway (through my test-tube), but i wiped it away before Ms Ooi's eagle eyes caught the puddle. I read Midnight Sun online while Mr Kwang tries to ask us to complete one paper on some boring Northern Ireland conflict paper. I am really really excited about this new book cos its Edward we're reading on. Not the human Bella's version of Twilight. Then Mother Tongue. Mdm Zhou did not come today, but I don't want to catch a cold after a direct freezing from the air-con in the computer lab so i sat at the back corner of the classroom, cooling down. Xinni thought i was crazy to feel cold after the air-con. She don't know. I talked to her through out the whole lesson, eyeing him sometimes across the room. Though we are not a pair, it bothered me somehow that he was flirting with the girls from my class and his own. If i have a bit more courage and wild cells, i would have said, "Playboy" in his face. But i can't bear to do it. For i know him(or i think i do). Xinni could sense my pain and silence while she was talking to me(i didn't make much conversation. I was staring at him), so she kept quiet. She never liked a boy before, so i couldn't tell how much ache my heart goes through when i see him that happy. That day on Valentine make my heart's pain stronger. But i didn't cry. Cos i want to be strong on myself. I didn't write this to "complain" my day to the "world wide web". I wrote it because i need a medium more relieving than paper to jot my thoughts down. Then, my class seating plan changes. Me and Vanessa remained situated at the original position. The only human factors that will affect me is (1)Willy and Jason is situated nearer to our place. Wow things are getting even livelier than i thought. (2) Uzair is at the back of the class. I guess where he is situated doesn't affect his voice volume in the whole room. (3) Gabriel is now sitting at the back of my class. Where has the days of joking and hole-punching papers gone??? I cannot stay in the canteen after i see him in that place. Xinni tells me he flirts too in DnT. I tried not to get that in my head. But i just thought, if he knew that his effects on me is so drastic, what would he do? Its a question i know the answer to.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I am often going through the same life cycle everyday. Its really eating me mentally out. I am also losing faith in Father, for life just goes on and on like a bicycle wheel and its not like I will go into some adventure like Charlie in the Chocolate Factory, so life just goes on, and soon I was dragged behind, trying to catch up with my own life. But I found "I" drifting away, my once powerful mental control over my conscious slowly slipped away. I started to have my old habits back, like addicting to my handphone games, when i do that lesser than the number of James Bond movies in the past. But since then, my life account was a total bore. Except if you find reading chinese books for a change from english books is very exciting, yeah, it could be counted as excitment, if no, then you should probably think of a blank background. For thats how exciting my life is now to me. I felt very sorry towards Father, for I did not do His Will, and I still dare to claim myself as His child. Yes, I knew I sinned, but I still wanted to repent. I hope that life in times of despair would brighten up under His guidance, for He is the Light in the Darkness, the Path that leads the lost.
1. Always the Japan freak.
2.Wants a lot of things normal humans don't perceive.
3.The Extreme stubborn one.
4. The Porcupine-personality.
5. Lazy too. You should be amazed I've updated this blog at all..
My Wishlist
Vintage bag Go on Star Cruise Digital camera (canon) An apartment of my own A trip to China More hazelnut chocolates Laptop vaio (hot red) My own FREE life Learn drumming A year of holidays My own stable job Pure Science in 2009 have long hair(????) read more comics own a gucci bag(???) More savings
LOVES
a.Anime
b.Manga
c.Friends
d.Hazelnut ice cream
e.Computer
f.Japanese language
HATES
1.Cockroaches
2.Immature boys
3.Pocket money below $7
4.Computers with the speed of a grandmother
Vintage bag
Go on Star Cruise 
Learn drumming